In our previous article, we had written that Burnham was considering the resumption of diplomatic communication between Lostisland and the Regional Dominion. This was, as already stated, a gesture of friendship after Lostislandic delegates (amongst others) blocked off contact with the Grand Unified Micronational (GUM) and the Theodorist Regional Dominion of Burnham and its Land following Justinian I’s aggressive election campaign to become GUM Chair, which included the leaking of logs to the Juclandian ‘Scînteia’ newspaper, and the making of accusations which turned out to be correct.
However, the article was read by the Captain Regent of Lostisland, Mr. Yaroslav Mar, and from an undisclosed source, we can provide his offensive, puerile and degenerate response:
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT CONTAINS STRONG AND GRAPHIC LANGUAGE. THOSE SENSITIVE TO SUCH THINGS SHOULD NOT READ THIS STATEMENT.
“It appears like our friend Cunningham has the audacity to state that restoration relations between his “Burnham” and Lostisland is “pending” – well, at least that’s what can be read in the newest product of his masturbations hiden under the guise of a newspaper.
For the sake of keeping to truth, I must admit that several months ago the cunt indeed contacted me through another micronationalist asking that I unblock him on Facebook and Skype. Well, unfortunately for him, my time is too precise to be spent on demented morons and micronational nutters, so Cunningham was politely told to fuck off. Not sure if my message was transmitted to him, to the end, it’s none of my business, but now I, to my greatest surprise, discover that we are *considering such possibility*! Not like the source is overly credible, since Cunningham even failed to spell the name of our nation correctly, but still food for thought, eh?
Anyway, if anyone of his acquaintances is reading this, please tell Cunningham that it is in his interests not to infuriate me further, and for that it’d be advisable not to make delusional assumptions about the state of our foreign relations. In short, forgiving my name would be the righteous thing to do, and provided that, he may hope that I, eventually, will forgive his.
If anyone cases to read the original text of the faggot, here you go:” (provides link to the July 19th 2013 article)
Upon receiving this response from the undisclosed source, the Burnham Micropress reported straight to Basileus Justinian I of Burnham, who laughed with much jollity as he read the response out. Upon being asked by a Micronational compatriot if an official counter-response was required, the Basileus shrugged his shoulders and said “Why, they [the Lostislandians] won’t read it, will they?”
A few days ago, a letter from Lostisland, carrying 15 of the 2013-edition stamps from the GUM post, arrived at the capital city of Burnham, Saint’s Rest. This prompted the Dominion to mention the potential resumption of communication between Burnham and the Russian-based state. Such activities will not be carried out until the Lostislandic Captain Regent is prepared to, in the words of Justinian I, “grow up and behave like a statesman, instead of an infuriated child.”
The Principality of Pavlov (a Burnham-recognised state that has relations with the Dominion) was once a part of Lostisland, until Mr. Mar’s volatile behaviour caused Prince Deniz I to secede illegally in desperation. A long and drawn out PR battle was fought over social networks such as Facebook for about a week until the issue was resolved.
You’re saying the Burnham Micropress reported this to you. You’re the only person running the site! You reported to yourself! 😀
I actually have multiple active citizens and honoraries, all of which have a part in all state channels. It was one of them who informed me, Basileus of the Dominion.
I always thought it is difficult to write an article where almost everything is untrue – well, my congratulations, you succeeded in it. Systematizing:
1. The stamps were sent to you because a long time ago I promised to establish the GUM Post, and differently from you, I keep my word. That doesn’t mean, of course, that my attitude to you changed.
2. When you’re blocked, it is always easy to say that you “consider the resumption of communication”, but this is, my friend, to be decided by the one who ceased it, not by the one with whom were they ceased. So, while I understand that you want it look like it is your voluntary decision that communications are ceased, under the circumstances where you’re blocked, it sounds a bit ridiculous. Needless to say, Lostisland has no intentions of changing the status quo, for we don’t consider you and your micronation worthy of our partnership, and if you wished to change it, you’d better admit being wrong and publicly apologize, instead of insisting that your accusations “turned out to be correct” while even Ciprian to whom you leaked the logs later apologized to me for taking part in your delirium, and yourself told Bradley in private chat that you wish to apologize for the election scandal. Be informed, also, that logs from your campaign’s chatroom are now at my disposal.
3. The Principality of Pavlov you have relations with was never part of Lostisland, it’s a new nation with the same name but different territorial claims and population, while the “Lostislandic Pavlov” remains part of the Federal Republic as the Federation of Belastrova.
4. Not like it surprised me, but clearly making the very basic research before writing articles you consider futile – I’m not Captain Regent but President of Lostisland, the title of Lostislandic Captains Regent was abolished with the formation of the Federal Republic, and now we have President and Prime Minister – honestly, this mistake quite accurately shows the quality of your article.
Rant over.
If we have no contact with you, we aren’t going to know anything new, are we? Also, you’re a bit late with this rant, aren’t you?
To conclude: Stay mad.
Yes you are – we have a website (differently from you, bro), a newsfeed, a MicroWiki article, and looking at either of these sources before writing articles could be a good idea. One needs not to contact me in order to know that I’m the President of Lostisland.
Contrary to misconceptions you may have, I’m not loading your blog every morning to check whether there’s anything new in it; now I’m in Spain and with limited Internet access, you’re lucky that I noticed your article at all.
Oh, and “stay mad” is probably the only answer you may give – well, I should have guessed it…
Just like you have barely paid attention to us (we now have a Microwiki article, if nothing else), we have not paid attention to you.
And yup, stupid arguments will get stupid answers from me I’m afraid. The fact that this very article contains your less than statesmanlike view of me, it’s no wonder you attempted to bribe the Zealandian Guardian in exchange for the removal or your puerile actions.
So you decided to censor my last comment – only proves my point that you have nothing to say.
Again, we indeed have not paid much attention to you, but the difference is that I don’t write articles about you, and if I had, I’d’ve bothered to look at the facts.
“Stupid arguments will get stupid answers” – like I said, an excuse when you have no valid points. Censor this comment as well if you want to prove me even more correct.
The so-called “bribe of the Zealandian Guardian” is what the entire community laughed on, for this issue was utterly ridiculous, and you are perhaps the only person who took it seriously.
And as of my “puerile actions” – first you’d better build a micronation of Lostisland’s quality, and only then accuse me of unprofessionalism.
I say, for someone who’s in Spain on holiday, you’re really taking a shine to the Micropress! I’d recommend following!
I can’t handle the lels.